As a bricoleur I have cultivated a habit of saying “yes”, and “yes, and …”, and this has opened me up to many wonderful experiences. Saying yes has helped me to:
- learn new skills
- meet interesting people – including a community to base my PhD on
- discover things I didn’t know that I wanted to know
- and more …
Of course, sometimes I still say no – and there’s a fine line to be trodden between accepting everything because one never knows what might come of it and saving some spare time in case an unexpected opportunity arises, but this is my spare time and I can use it pretty much as I like. However, this ‘just say yes’ attitude can lead me to be very stressed and overworked when I allow it to spill over into my working life, as it inevitably does. I’ve written before about my institution’s obsession with meetings, so I won’t repeat that rant.
Today I want share with you the relief that I have been experiencing since realising that I do have the right to say “no” sometimes, and the joy that I have been feeling when practicing that right. We’re all familiar, I think with FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), so maybe you’ve heard of its counterpart JOMO (Joy of Missing Out). In the same way as a smile is a frown upside down, these are often the flip sides of each other. So here’s some times recently that I’ve turned my FOMO into JOMO:
- Instead of being upset because a submission to a conference or journal has been rejected, rejoiced that I have the time free to do something more enjoyable
- Instead of worrying that I forgot to complete a Doodle for a meeting, happy danced that it was organised for a time that I couldn’t attend – thus letting me off the hook for further work
- Instead of feeling FOMO for a workshop on a ‘hot topic’ that I didn’t sign up for, notice that I have space in my working day to eat lunch
So here’s to more FOMO.
